Scott Pilgrim's Family Values
by TrixieStixs
Summary: So,you've read all the comics you've even saw the movie. That must be the end of the story then right? WRONG! This is the next great adventure for Scott Pilgrim and the gang. Filled with action/adventure, and more video game ref. you know what to do with!
1. Prologue

**Scott Pilgrim's Family Values **

**By: TrixieStixs **

**Prologue **

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"**And if it's all a lie**

**The truth's not far behind**

**We could try to live right for the moment**

**Ramona, Ramona, Ramona" -Ramona "Beck"**

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"Are you o.k.?" A red haired girl with freckles asked a girl with shoulder length hair, that was dyed green, who just returned to her seat at the restaurant the two were dining at.

"Yeah, I'm fine Kim," the girl with green hair answered firmly. **(Fun Fact: 85% of girls that say this statement are in fact, NOT FINE!) (Fun Fact 2: I just pulled that statistic out of my ass!)**

"Are you sure Ramona? I mean, this is like the tenth time you have gone to the bathroom, in like… an hour." Kim Pine asked, concern in her voice for her good friend Ramona. After all, Ramona was one of the few people the redhead didn't hate. Kim Pine after all wasn't the easiest person to get along with. Many people couldn't handle her bubbly happy-go-lucky personality. **(Last sentence= sarcasm!)**

"Kim, stop worrying. I mean, It's probably the flu or something," Ramona responded, trying to reassure her good friend.

Kim just stared at the green haired girl, obviously she wasn't very impressed with her answer. Kim then closed her eyes and told the young women, "Your not going to like this, but… your going have to come with me." Kim then put some money on the table, to pay for the food, before getting up to leave the restaurant. Ramona then followed suit as the two women ventured into the cold winter air.

The women were dressed highly fashionable; Kim was wearing a tan colored jacket that's buttons were all on the right side of her body. Ramona's black jacket on the other hand had three, what appeared to be, yellow shooting stars protruding on the left side of the jacket's golden zipper. Kim was wearing blue jeans, Ramona black. The lady's outfits kept them warm despite the cold winter night in Toronto as the two walked a couple a blocks until finally making there way to a pharmacy with the honor of being called _Band-Aid: The Healing Center_.

Ramona then looked over at Kim and asked, "What are we doing here again? I told you, It's probably just the flu or something."

"Ramona, are you really trying to argue with me?" Kim asked her good friend with a sly smile.

The green haired girl just stared at Kim for a few seconds before answering, "Yeah, that's a losing battle isn't it?"

Kim just nodded in response before stepping in front of the entrance to the pharmacy where the automatic doors then slid open. The two then walked inside, the pharmacy was generically set-up with about fourteen rows filled with your every medical need. As they walked through a couple of isles Kim then turned over to her good friend and asked, "So, how long have you two been back together?"

"Scott? About six months or so," Ramona answered the seemingly random question.

"Hmm, alright," Kim then stopped in the middle of the isle they were at as she reached over and grabbed a box that was on the shelf to her right. Kim then turned back to Ramona and said, "Here you go."

Ramona had a shocked expression on her face and before asking in surprise, "What do you want me to do with _that_?"

"I don't know, _use it_!" Kim answered in a familiar sarcastic tone. Kim then began pushing Ramona in the back scooting her closer to the check-out counter. Ramona had a horrified look on her face as the two finally reached the cashier. Ramona then set the box that she was still holding onto the check-out counter, as a sketchy looking man ringed it up. There was a black information box next to him as well, it contained…

Name: Who really cares

Age: Old

Status: Creepy as hell

Fun Fact: you wouldn't want to meet him in a dark ally!

The cashier then asked to two women, very creepily, "Have you guys ever done a three way?"

Kim Pine just stared at the old dude.

He then stared back.

**AND THEN… KIM PINE ATE HIS SOUL!**

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Well anyway… somewhere else.

Scott Pilgrim was making the greatest loaf of garlic bread he had ever made in his entire life. He had on a cooking apron that had the phrase "Kitchen Bitch!" on it, the apron pretty much summed Scott's job title. That is why Scott was so determined to make this loaf of garlic bread the greatest ever, he knew that if his manager tasted it he would move up in ranking and become a normal chef, like his friend Stephen Stills.**(He is not here right now, it's his day off. If you don't like it…just DEAL WITH IT!)** The loaf of bread then began to rise, the bread in fact did look deliciously well… delicious. Scott then began to shake his arms like one of those "Twilight" obsessed fan-girls after seeing "Edward" sneeze.** (Needless to say, he looked kind of retarded…)**

Scott then put on some oven mitts and grabbed the bread out of the oven, it was a lovely golden brown. After letting it cool down for a little bit he cut it into about 8 slices, putting it on a porcelain platter he then went over to the check out where Dominique his manger was. It was about five minutes before closing time so Scott went over to the young woman and asked, "How about you try this awesome bread I made?"

Dominique then picked up a slice and took a bite before saying, "WOW, this is really some great garlic bread!"

"So… Can I "rank-up" and become just a normal chef?" Scott asked, A giddy smile plastered on his face.

Dominique then looked at Scott and asked, almost rhetorically, "You do know this is a Mexican restaurant? We _are_ called "The Happy Avocado" we don't serve garlic bread here."

Scott Pilgrim's grin then deflated as he wore a sad frown, a status box then appeared beside him and read, **SCOTT PILGRIM: COMPLETE DUMBASS!**

"But, since this was the best garlic bread I've ever tasted, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to have you become a full time chef. You just have to learn the menu by next week," Dominique said before Scott totally lost his mind.

"Really?" Scott asked, half surprised, half amazed.

"Really," Dominique answered, starting to get annoyed by this point. She then continued by saying, "Now get out of here, it's closing time and I don't want to see your face any longer then I have to."

Scott now outside and beginning to walk home grinning as he could not wait to brag about his new promotion to his girlfriend Ramona Flowers. Scott's pants began to vibrate and emit the victory music from Final Fantasy VII, causing him to spazz out, an amusing site to the people walking down the street that could see him. After a few seconds of fighting with his pant's pocket, he finally retrieved the cell phone.**(Oh yeah, Scott has a cell phone now. There is a story behind this… but, I'm to lazy to write it!)** Scott then answered with a simple, "Hello?"

"Guess who's,(**Hic.**), drunk?" A familiar voice said over the cell phone.

"I guess Wallace," Scott responded to his heavily intoxicated friend.

"You,(**Hic.**), guess, (**Hic.**), right!" Wallace, drunk off his ass, answered his best straight friend. **(Also, please note, drunken hiccups=no fun! Trust me on that one…)**

Scott, very unamused with the question then told his friend, "It's like only like ten o'clock. Isn't it a little early to be drunk?"

"Isn't it a little early for you to act like a little bitch?" Was Wallace's only response, well besides the three drunken hiccups that happened after he responded.

"Ha, Ha," Scott faked laughed before continuing. "Guess who got promoted at his job today?"

"Good for you little buddy!" Wallace congratulated , though it was almost impossible to understand in the drunken state he was in.

"Well, I've got to go. I'm home and I have to tell Ramona the good news!" Scott told Wallace, he wasn't lying too. He was, in fact, standing in front of the house him and Ramona were living in.

"Alright, _buddy, _I'll talk to you later," Wallace said before hanging up the phone.

Scott then put the cell phone away as he unlocked the door to the house. He then stepped inside and said, very loudly, "Ramona, guess who got promoted at work today?"

There was no response, so Scott began to take off his blue parka and called out again, "Ramona?"

Scott then hurried up the stairs to their bedroom that had light emitting from it. Still calling out to his girlfriend, until he reached their bedroom. He then saw Ramona in an eerily familiar pose as she sat at the edge their bed, her head glowing with a bright light around it. Scott then asked his love, "Is everything alright Ramona? Are you, O.K?"

"Everything is fine Scott. I've just, I've just got to tell you something," Ramona quietly answered.

"Are you leaving me?" Scott asked, worry in every word of the sentence. Scott then went over to Ramona and bent down beside her.

"No, it's not that Scott," Ramona replied putting her boyfriend at ease.

"Then what is it?" Scott asked looking Ramona in the eyes, their faces a few feet apart.

Ramona then began twiddling her fingers before responding, "Well… I'm, I'm pregnant!"

Right after Ramona said the word "pregnant" a boxing glove, one of those spring loaded ones, appeared to shoot out of her mouth. The spring itself seemed to spell the word as the boxing glove plowed into Scott's face. An announcers voice could be heard saying, "K.O!" as the fist sent Scott flying across the room.

Scott then laid unconscious on the floor as Ramona worriedly asked, "Scott, are you alright? Scott?"

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**A/N: Considering all the great feedback I've got on my first Scott Pilgrim story, I've decided to start a new one. Well guys I hoped you liked the first chapter in my new Scott Pilgrim fiction! This is going to be a pretty long and epic story, so I hope this chapter wasn't too bad. I also have three other Scott Pilgrim stories in my head. Check out my profile if you want to find out more about them. I might even put up a poll to see what one you guys think sounds the best. As always feedback, is greatly appreciated. I hope I kept all the characters in character. Well anyway, thanks for reading!**

**-TrixieStixs**


	2. The Big News

**Scott Pilgrim's Family Values **

**By: TrixieStixs **

**Chapter One: The Big News **

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**"****Toe-tapper Knee Slapper you are the funniest person I know. **

**Back Stabber, bad matter You're not so honest I hope You Know! **

**Honest I hope you know" -"Fatherhood" PlumTree  
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Scott Pilgrim awoke to the sight of his girlfriend of over a year sitting next to him, on the bed he was laying on. She had a cold washcloth pressed up against his forehead, she seemed to be applying presser to a giant laceration that was just under his right eye. Scott then groggily asked, "What time is it?"

"Noon… you've been out for about thirteen hours. I was a little worried," Ramona answered his question. Her voice seemed filled with regret when she said the last statement, it even showed in her face.

"Man Ramona, I had the _craziest _dream. I dreamt that you told me you were pregnant! How crazy is that!" Scott exclaimed, still half asleep from the punishing blow that Ramona gave him after the news.

"That wasn't a dream dude," Ramona simply answered before giving Scott a half-hearted grin.

"What?" Scott exclaimed, before quickly sitting up. Scott was now sitting right next to Ramona, on the left hand side of the bead. Scott, frazzled, continued by saying, "So, this is really happening? I mean, we're really having a baby?"

"Yep," Ramona said with an unsure gulp that matched her expression.

The two then shared an awkward silence before Scott spoke up, "So… what now?"

"Well, I guess we tell everyone important," Ramona answered his question still a little uneasy with the whole "Situation" the two found themselves in.

"So, I guess your parents are going to want us to get married huh?" Scott said, as he rubbed the back of his head.

"WHOA DUDE! Hold your horses, I mean it's not the eighteenth century anymore. My dad's not going to grab his shotgun and force us to do anything rash." Ramona answered putting her hands up and calming her boyfriend down. A sly grin on her face from Scott's question.

"Well how should I know, I've never met him.**(He's Right! Surprisingly…)**" Scott said in a kind of 'assholely' tone.

This tone looked like it didn't make Ramona to happy as she spat back, "Well, it's not my fault that you never wanted to meet him!"

"I'm sorry Ramona. It's just… It's just, I'm scared." Scott said looking at the floor, disappointed in himself that he got angry at his now pregnant girlfriend.

"Me too Scott, me too," Ramona simply replied back, distress in her voice, mimicking Scott's action.

Scott, hearing his girlfriend's uneasy tone, then turned to face her. Ramona looked like a nervous wreak, honestly they both did. Seeing her like this always made Scott feel uneasy, so he then said, "Well…" before continuing though, he reached over and grabbed Ramona's hand. This action made Ramona look up and face Scott, as they both looked into each others eyes he said, with an uneasy smile, "At least we have each other."

Ramona then lent over and embraced Scott. They sat there for a few minutes, saying nothing, just holding each other passionately. Maybe that was all that needed to be done for them to understand that everything was going to be okay. Because sometimes, words are not needed to say what you really mean.

Ramona finally broke off their hug after awhile and informed him, "Alright, well I guess I'll tell my dad to come over for dinner tonight."

"Wait, where does he live?" Scott asked confused, and wondering how he could get here so fast.

"America, I'll just tell him to use subspace. He hates using subspace though, but it'll be fine." Ramona answered as she got off of the bed and looked around for her cell phone.

Scott then had a look of worry on his face. For he had not met Ramona's father yet and his first reaction to him would after he angrily uses subspace to meet him for dinner. Which leads us to this…

**Scott Pilgrim's possibilities on what Ramona's dad looks like:**

**1. A retired Vietnam veteran with two robotic arms and a leaser eye!**

**2. A robot ninja assassin from the future.**

**3. Wolverine!**

Scott then went over to Ramona, who was tossing clothes around still on the hunt for her cell phone. Scott then told her, "Well, I'm going to call Wallace and tell him about the baby."

After hearing this Ramona stopped looking for her phone for a moment. Even if it was only to give Scott a quizzical look of to why he said his statement.

"Do you really want to hear what Wallace has to say if I don't tell him about the baby first?" Scott answered the question Ramona asked with her facial expression.

Ramona just nodded after Scott said his statement.

Scott then pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed Wallace's number. After the phone rung a couple of times Wallace answered with, "Hello, Scott."

"Whoa, how did you know it was me Wallace? Are you… psychic?" Scott asked with a giddy grin.

"CALLER I.D SCOTT!" Both Ramona and Wallace exclaimed simultaneously at the lovable but dimwitted Scott.

"Right… I knew that. Well, anyways, guess who's got big news?" Scott then asked his gay mentor/trainer/friend.

"What is it Scott?" Wallace asked, his Scott is going to tell me something I'm not going to like sense must have been tingling because he didn't sound very happy.

"Ramona's Pregnant!" Scott told his friend, after he said the statement the doorbell rang as the word **Ding-Dong **could visibly be seen traveling throughout the house. "Hold on Wallace someone's at the door." Scott informed his friend that was on the other end of the phone line, before he and Ramona went to see who was at the door. Scott then had a look of surprise as he answered the door, "Wallace?"

Wallace then gave them a grin before asking Ramona, "Hey Ramona, mind if I borrow Scott for a little bit?"

"Ugh, do you mind if he helps me find my phone before he goes? I've been looking for it everywhere." Ramona answered Wallace with a smile.

Wallace then lifted up his right hand, looking very focused, he then summoned Ramona's cell phone into his open hand, and handed it to her. Scott and Ramona had amazed facial expressions as they watched Wallace summon the missing item with just his mind. Scott told Wallace, "Whoa, you really are psychic!"

"No, it's just a trick Mobile thought me," Wallace answered.

"Mobile…" Scott said trying to recall a past memory.

"Mobile, my psychic boyfriend. We've only been dating since like… volume 3!" Wallace told Scott who, as usual, was struggling to recall a past memory.

"Oh, Yeah! Mobile, I remember," Scott exclaimed. **(He really didn't remember…)**

Ramona just stared at her boyfriend and said, "Right… well anyway, you've got to teach me that trick sometime Wallace. You two have fun." Ramona then went off to her and Scott's room to call her father.

"Walk with me," Wallace said as he motioned with his right hand before turning around. Scott then did as he was told as they walked down the steps in front of his house, it was a nice sunny and cool afternoon. The two walked down the street a little ways before Wallace asked, "So, what are you doing Scott?"

"Ugh… walking with you Wallace," Scott answered his gay friend.

Wallace just shook his head before continuing, "No Scott, I mean what are you doing with Ramona?"

"What do you mean?" Scott asked, not understanding where Wallace was going with his question.

Wallace then turned to his good friend and in a serious tone asked, "I mean are you going to merry her Scott? She is having your child. _Your_ child Scott, this is a big reasonability."

"Are you trying to say that I'm not ready to have a kid?" Scott then asked Wallace, actually reading between the lines for once in his life.

"Honestly… yes, that is what I'm saying," Wallace told his friend.

"What? I'm so ready to have a kid! I mean I took out all of Ramona's evil exes, and even dealt with Negascott. That totally means I'm ready to have a kid!" Scott exclaimed to Wallace a look of determination on his face. **(Percent Chance Scott Is Actually Ready To Have A Child: -50%) **

"Do you even know anything about babies?" Wallace asked, his friend that was getting worked up.

"Yeah, I know stuff… about babies. Tons of stuff! I could write a book about babies if I wanted to," Scott answered.

**What Scott Pilgrim Knows About Babies:**

**1. Rosemary's Baby= Bad News!**

**2. Babies are almost always bald, they have really big eyes too!**

**3. Babies always drink milk… but they never eat cookies. :(**

**4. Babies can evolve… like pokemon!**

"Right," was Wallace's only response before continuing, "Scott, I demand that you at least propose to Ramona before the baby is born."

"But… but…"

"But nothing Scott, I wasn't asking!" Wallace said in a stern voice as he order his friend to propose to his girlfriend.

"Grahugughagh," Scott incoherently mumbled before continuing by mumbling, "Stupid,wallacemakingmeperpose,notevenknowingwhat,ramonasaid!"

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**Later…**

Ramona and Scott were in the kitchen getting everything squared away before Ramona's dad arrived for the dinner that they had invited him too. "Scott, do you promise to be good?" Ramona asked her long time boyfriend, making him more nervous then he already was.

"Wait, am I normally not good?" Scott asked, not even answering Ramona's question.

"Just promise me you'll be good," Ramona then firmly said.

"I promise," Scott then responded with a frown.

**Ding-Dong!** the door bell rang as Scott jumped at the sound as Ramona informed him, "That must be him!" Ramona then went over and before answering the door looked over intensely and pointed at Scott before saying, "You better be good!" Scott just gulped as Ramona then opened the door.

"Hey dad!" Ramona said as she answered the door and greeted a normal looking man with black hair who appeared to be in his late 50's. He was wearing a black jacket and blue jeans, other then that not much was known about him. Luckily there was a status box beside him

**Name: Ramona's Dad**

**Age: 50 something?**

**Status: Fatherly **

**Fun Fact: He doesn't have bionic arms or a leaser eye, nor is he a robot ninja from the future. **

"Hey Rammy, it's been like six months! How have you been? Also, hope you don't mind but I brought that cat that you got when you came over and watched the entire series of _The X-Files._" Ramona's dad answered his daughter's greeting, as a cat went inside the house rubbing up against the older gentleman's leg. The cat was white with black paws and had a status box of it's own.

**Name: Scott The Cat **

**Age: 1?**

**Status: Adorably Adorable **

**Fun Fact: If you have a cat… this cat is at least five times cuter then your cat!**

"No problem Dad! Come here I want you to meet my boyfriend Scott," Ramona said as she pulled her father's arm and lead him to where Scott was at, the dining area.

Scott was playing with the small white cat when he noticed Ramona walked into the room with her father. Scott then stopped playing with the cat and greeted Ramona's dad by saying, "Hello, my name's Scott Pilgrim." He then put out his right arm to initiate a handshake with the older gentleman.

"Your name is Scott too? Ramona's cat is named Scott," Ramona's dad said as he firmly shook Scott's hand.

Scott then looked over at Ramona with a surprised expression and asked, "Wait? You named a cat after me?"

"Yes, it was that time when I left after volume 5. I really missed you so… I ended up getting a cat and naming it after you. Like I've said I have my own way of working things out." Ramona answered her boyfriend who had a look of inflated pride as his eyes watered.

"Well anyway, I'm starving, what's for dinner?" Ramona's dad asked as he rubbed his stomach.

"Oh, Scott made some type of chicken pasta," Ramona answered her dad's question. A look of pride on her face knowing that Scott was a cook.

"Whoa, Scott can cook? Well, that's good, if he couldn't you guys would be in trouble. I know Ramona can't cook to save her life." Ramona's dad said as he and Scott shared a laugh at Ramona's expense.

"I can totally cook," Ramona then pouted as she had an angry/sad look painted on her face. **(She really can't cook! I mean have you ever seen her cook? Didn't think so!)**

After enjoying the meal Scott cooked, Ramona's dad loved it by the way. The three then were still sitting on the dining room table when Ramona's dad asked his daughter, "So Rammy, what was this big news you where going to tell me?"

Ramona and Scott then stared at each other for a few sounds before Ramona answered her dad's question by saying, "Well dad… I'm, I'm pregnant!"

**Awkward silence…**

"So, what your telling me is, I'm GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER!" A smile plastered on Ramona's dad's aged face. He then continued by saying, "That really _is _big news, I never thought Ramona would settle down long enough with someone for that to actually happen."

"Yeah so, I guess you want us to get married huh," Scott unsurely laughed after he said the statement. **(Scott Pilgrim: SCARED TO DEATH!)**

"You haven't told him yet Rammy?" Ramona's dad said to his daughter a look of worry on his face.

Ramona shrugged before answering, "I was going to get around to it."

"Tell me what guys?" Scott asked, now even more worried then he previously was.

"Should I tell him, or you?" Ramona's father asked her in a nervous tone.

Ramona just edged her head over towards her father as if to tell him that he should go ahead and tell her boyfriend the big news.

"Well, to marry my daughter… you first have to defeat my seven evil ex-wives. More specifically, you have to defeat Ramona's seven evil step-siblings!" Ramona's father said as he delivered the bad news to his daughters boyfriend.

Scott Then looked over at Ramona who simply said with a grin, "What can I say, I take after my dad."

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**A/N Hey readers! I hope you liked this chapter, sorry it's not as funny as the first. It was a more series tone, but it moved the plot right along! Speaking of which, what do you think about it? Ramona's evil step siblings, I thought it would be funny if she took after her dad. I got the idea from the sixth book when she talks about going to her fathers house. I assumed he was no longer with her mother, and then it snowballed into this story. Hope I didn't lose you guys with this plot… tell me if you don't like it… please! Also Scott the Cat= Best Character EVER! Also updates may be slower…**

**-TrixieStixs**


	3. Things Keep Happening

**Scott Pilgrim's Family Values **

**By: TrixieStixs **

**Chapter Two: Things Keep Happening **

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"**Came in through the window last night**

**And your gone**

**Gone**

**It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy" **

**"My Own Worse Enemy"- LIT**

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Calming waves of crystal clear water splashed upon the sands of a beach as the sun shined down and a cool breeze could be felt caressing your face. The beach seemed to be disserted except for one lone individual, with messy brown hair, that was laying in the sand. His only company was all the palm trees that could be seen in the main land of this apparent tiny island. Tiny shacks were the only buildings that seemed to populate the island. The man was laying on the relaxing beach until he heard someone approach, causing him to sit up quickly.

The man was wearing quite a bizarre outfit, for starters he had a red undershirt with silver buttons. He then had a black hooded jacket on over the undershirt the only part of the jacket that wasn't black was the two silver shoulder pads that seemed to be sewn into the jacket. The man also wore black shorts that went down past his knees, the shorts had about four yellow straps, at various positions, and a big red pocket on the right side. As the man with brown hair looked around, trying to find the stranger he herd, a voice called out, "What are you doing laying down? There is no time for that!"

The man with brown hair then finally saw who was asking the question. A couple of yards away a figure in all black was walking towards him. The figure was unnaturally short, with giant circular ears on the top of it's head. The gigantic ears were covered by the hood of the black full body jacket that the short stranger was wearing. The stranger then yelled out, "You're playing on hard now kid, you can't just lay here all alone."

"Chill out little dude, I'm Scott Pilgrim!" Scott said as he pointed his thumb at himself before continuing, "I think I can handle playing on hard."

"You better be able too. You're the only on that can save the princess of heart!" The little stranger exclaimed as he began pulling on Scott's arm. The little stranger was surprisingly strong as he continued to yank on Scott's arm, wanting him to stand-up instead of just sitting on the beach.

Scott then reluctantly sat up and dusting off his shorts told the stranger, "Alright, alright! You really need to calm down little man."

"Calm down? How can you be calm at a moment like this?" The big eared stranger asked, waving his hands in the air.

But before Scott could answer, a eerie and dark presence began to appear in the distance. Two figures could be made out in front of the darkness, though one of the figures looked like it was made of darkness itself. Scott had a good idea at who the figure was as the small stranger blurted out, "It's A hear-"

"Negascott!" Scott Pilgrim interrupted the small stranger, a look of determination plastered on his face. Scott then raced towards to where the two figures where standing, on the other side of the island. When Scott finally reached his destination he called out to his evil half, "What are you doing here? I thought I defeated you?"

Negascott just gave his counterpart an evil smirk as he shook a chain that he held in his left hand, because a sword made entirely out of darkness was being held in his right.

Scott then moved his eyes down the chain to see who Negascott held captive, and not surprisingly, it was Ramona. Ramona seemed to be wearing a strange outfit though, I guess the only reason it was strange was because it was a bright shade of pink. Ramona was wearing a pink short strapless mini-dress made up of three zippers, two appear to be just decorative, as well as a white halter top underneath her mini-dress with a black hood. She also wore lilac colored shoes though a thick chain connected both of her feet. Ramona's hair was just a little bit longer then shoulder length, and seemed to be dyed a dark shade of red.

"Ramona!" Scott called out to his girlfriend, though she couldn't answer because she had a piece of tape over her mouth, her eyes were filled with fear as well. Scott then looked up at his evil alter-ego and angrily commanded him to, "Let her go."

Negascott then let go of the chain that held Ramona. He then pointed the sword at Scott a motioned to him to "bring-it". Scott then smiled and said, "You're not the only one with a sword man."

Scott then went to grab the power of understanding out of his chest but something was different. The sword to be more specific, Scott had a new sword, if you would even call it a sword, more like a big key. Scott then looked at the new "sword" that he had pulled out of his chest and examined it. The giant key's shaft as a shiny silver color, it's handle appeared to be two angle wings that were touching each other, the key also had a small trinket hanging off the end of the handle, Ramona's star shaped hair clip. Scott quietly said to himself, "What the…" but before he could finish his thought he had to block a sword of dark energy that was being swung right at his head. Sparks flew off of the metal keyblade as a loud clanking noise was made when the swords made contact with each other.

Scott then countered by hitting his evil counterpart on the top of his head with the butt of the keyblade. After the blade's handle made contact with Negascott's face he stumbled backwards for a few steps before shaking his head to get his equilibrium back. With his equilibrium now back Negascott then lunged forward swinging the sword wrapped in a dark aura franticly at Scott, who was slowly being pushed back as he desperately tried to block the onslaught of swings that Negascott was throwing at him. Unfortunately for Scott, he was being slowly pushed back to a side of a cliff. Violent waves crashed on the side of the cliff as lightning and thunder was now beginning to come from dark clouds that covered the once sunny sky.

Scott nervously looked down at the water from over the cliffs edge, which was a horrible idea. Negascott used this opportunity while Scott was distracted to lunge his dark sword forward. Scott dropped to his knees as the sword of dark energy pierced right through the middle of his chest. Scott then dropped his "sword" as he tried putting pressure on the gapping wound. He then began coughing up blood as he saw Negascott go over and grab where he had left Ramona. Negascott then slowly walked over with Scott's girlfriend as Scott struggled to tell his evil counterpart, due to the fact that he was coughing up blood, "Please…(Cough), don't take Ramona away! (Cough) I need her! I don't know who I'd be…(Cough) without her!"

Negascott then just turned around and walked away, Ramona dragging right behind him. All Scott could do was call out to his terrified girlfriend, as he slowly began to get devoured by darkness, "Ramona… don't go, I need you!"

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"Scott… Scott, Wake up!" Ramona worriedly said as she shook her boyfriend vigorously trying to wake him from his deep sleep. Just moments ago she was asleep herself, until Scott began talking in his sleep awoke her.

After about five shakes Scott finally groggily woke up from his slumber, a couple of sweat drops on his face. Scott then rubbed his eyes and Ramona was the first thing he saw as he woozily asked, "Ramona? You're, you're still here?"

"Of course I am, I'm not going anywhere anymore. That part of me is gone and is never coming back. You must have had a bad dream or something. It's ok, I'm right here," Ramona told Scott as she cuddled closer to him before giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Scott nervous expression faded to a smile as the sensation of Ramona's lips on his cheeks was intoxicating. He then turned on his side to face her, there faces were now just a few inches apart. Ramona then returned the smile that Scott still had on his face as she then said to him, "Besides, my dad thinks your pretty cool."

"Really?" Scott then asked with a giddy excitement.

"Yeah, he said that he thinks that it's pretty cool of you that you're going to fight all the evil step-siblings just for me." Ramona answered her boyfriend's question, as his ego began to inflate.

"You mean, he really likes me?" Scott asked again, almost exploding from his sense of pride.

"He's not the _only_ one that likes you Scott," Ramona answered seductively, as she then straddled Scott's waist. Ramona then gave Scott a suggestive smile as she began kissing's Scott's bare chest. **(Scott Pilgrim is going to get laid!)**

Scott then giggled slightly as Ramona's tongue made contact with his left nipple before asking, "But Ramona, wouldn't that hurt the baby?"

After hearing this statement, Ramona stopped what she was doing and sat up, still on Scott's waist. Ramona then gave Scott a look like she was thinking, "Scott, you have got to be the dumbest person ever!"

But before ether one of them could say anything to each other, Scott the cat jumped up onto the bed and walked onto the center of Scott's bare chest. The adorable white cat then looked at the two lovers before opening it's mouth and saying, "Meow!" After meowing the cat then circled around Scott's chest a few times before curling up in a ball and closing it's eyes.

**(Scott Pilgrim is NOT getting laid!)**

**

* * *

**

**Sometime later that day…**

Scott Pilgrim and the gang were at Sneaky Dee's the tex-mex bar. For Scott and Ramona had important information to tell them. The gang consists of; Kim Pine, Stephen Stills, Neil Nordegraf (Formally Young Neil), Stacy Pilgrim (Scott's little sister), and finally Knives Chau (Who was back home for summer vacation from university). Wallace was not there because he has a date with his boyfriend Mobile tonight.

"Well guys, Ramona and I have some big news!" Scott said before he noticed a absent person, which made him then ask Stephen Stills, "Where is your boyfriend, Joseph?"

To this Stephen simply replied, "We broke up."

"AGAIN?" The entire group asked in unison.

Ramona then exhaled before asking Stills, "Isn't this like the tenth time you guys have broken-up? I mean Joseph might as well be the male version of Julie."

"What are you talking about Ramona?" Stephen asked her with a shocked expression before looking around nervously at the others before asking them, "You guys really don't think that… do you?"

Everyone then just looked around at each other not sure how to answer his question. After about ten seconds of awkward silence Stephen finally broke down as he grabbed his face and sadly exclaimed, "I am dating a male version of Julie!"

"Well, look on the bright side. I mean at least you're going out with _someone. _I mean, I haven't gone out with someone since that time Wallace stole my boyfriend when I watched you play at the Rockit." Stacy told Stephen, trying to comfort the bearded gay man.

"I'm sure a awesome girl like you will find a great guy," Neil then said to Stacy with a smile on his face. **(What he actually meant was… I really, really, really, really want to touch your boobs!)**

Stacy then just smiled at Neil and said, "Aw, thanks." **(What she actually meant was… Wow that was really nice of him. I hope he isn't just saying that because he wants to touch my boobs.)**

Ramona then elbowed Scott in his side, an obvious sign that he should hurry up and get on with the big news. After spazzing out for a few seconds he obliged her request by saying, "Right. Yeah guys, we have really big news! Ramona's pregnant!"

"What?"

"That's _so _awesome! I'm so happy for you guys."

"Told you Ramona!"

"I'm going to be an aunt?"

"That really is big news…"

Scott and Ramona then slyly smiled at the others as the look on their faces ranged from shocked to I told you so.

"So I guess this is the end of Shatterband then huh?" Kim asked in her monotone voice before continuing, "I mean you are having a baby! Plus, you have never been one that's good at multitasking Scott."

"Wait what? I'm going to have to quit the band?" Scott nervously asked Ramona, he was shaking a little bit at the thought of not being in a band.

"Chill out man, you can still be in your crappy band." Ramona told Scott lifting her hands up defensively.

**Three Things That Actually Kill Bands:**

**1. Plane Crashes. **

**2. Drug Overdoses. **

**3. Yoko Ono!**

"Which reminds me, can I join Shatterband?" Stephen asked, more liked begged as he had both of his hands locked together as he continued, "I mean, it totally sucks playing bass. Not to mention Joseph bitches at me constantly!"

"Alright, alright, enough! We get it Stills, you can join the band again." Kim informed her friend, tired of hearing him complain.

Tears literally began forming in the bearded man's eyes as he continued his pleading, "And could I like maybe be the singer again…"

"So basically your asking if Sex Bob-omb can get back together, " Kim then responded.

Stills just nodded and gave Kim puppy dog eyes, Kim finally succumbed after a few seconds and told him, "Fine but on one condition… WE NEVER RECORD AN ALBUM!"

After everyone ate and did some normal and boring stuff everyone one went their own separate ways to get home. Scott and Ramona were walking hand in hand when Scott noticed a poster on a nearby wall. Scott was drawn to the bright red color paper the poster was made on, the poster itself said "Mr. Wonderful's American Circus: Come One Come All"

"Can we go tomorrow Ramona?" Scott begged his girlfriend, well more like whined.

Ramona just looked at him and asked, "What? You've never been to a circus before?"

"But this circus is _American_," Scott told her grinning like an idiot.

"Well, I guess it could be fun. I mean I haven't been to a circus in forever," Ramona answered the eager young man. After she told him that, Scott put his hands up triumphantly, still smiling like an idiot though.

* * *

**The Next Day…**

Scott and Ramona were at the circus, well more like they were at a fair with a big top in the center of it. All around the two lovers were staples of your average fair, unhealthy food vendors, roller coasters, and of course carnival games. One of these carnival games caught Scott's attention, not so much the game itself but the prizes it was offering. Scott saw a sign that said infinite storage capacity bag from America. Ramona still had not gotten a new subspace bag since that ass-hat of an ex Gideon made it explode.

"Ramona, I'm going to get you that awesome subspace bag!" Scott exclaimed to his girlfriend. Scott grabbed her hand and rushed over to where the sign was, when they finally reached their destination they saw a game called "Test Your Might".

The game was simple enough, take the giant hammer and slam it down on the target and hope the little piece of metal hit's a bell about fifteen feet in the air. A strange carnie greeted them by saying, "You think your strong enough to win this game? Only four people have ever won."

"Please, I'm the best fighter in the province! I can handle some stupid game," Scott arrogantly exclaimed as he grabbed the hammer. The hammer visibly went **Whoosh **as Scott used all his strength to bring down the hammer on the target. The little piece of metal flew up towards the bell, though half-way up it stopped dead in it's tracks. The little piece of metal stopped right in the middle next to some text that said, 'Does your girlfriend asks you if it's in yet?'

"Gahhh! No fair!" Scott pouted his masculinity totally humiliated.

Ramona then just put her hand on Scott's back and told him, "Come on Scott, the game is probably rigged. Let's just go."

"It's this hammer, it's _American…_it can't be trusted." Scott said as he tossed the hammer down to his feet before paying the man to try the game again. The man just smiled and gladly excepted the five dollars Scott gave him, confident Scott would never win. Scott then pulled his body back as far as it could go before swinging his entire body towards to tiny target, specifically his head. Scott's head then made contact with the exact center of the target, as the tiny piece of metal shot up like a rocket making contact with the bell. As the bell went **Ding! **a crack could be seen on it from the speed the tiny piece of metal was traveling at.

The carnie mouth was wide open in shock as Scott shook his fist triumphantly the carnie told him, "I better put your name on the list."

**List of Individuals That Have Won "Test Your Might"**

**1. Scott Pilgrim!**

**2. Master Chief! **

**3. General Shepherd!**

**4. Chris Redfield!**

**5. Kratos… The Flipping God of War!**

"I don't know if that is the most romantic, or the most embarrassing thing someone has ever done for me." Ramona smiled as she looked at her brand new subspace bag, the bag itself was very similar to her old one. Like her old one it was still blue, I guess you could say that the only difference between the two bags was that one had a yellow star, while this new one had a red 'R' where the star once was. Ramona then went on to say, "Good thing you have such a hard head. I mean is there a robot living in there or something?"

"No Ramona, that a different show," Scott simply answered with a smile.

"Well, I'm starving, and for some reason I'm craving a corndog dipped in chocolate." Ramona said as her pregnancy cravings started to kick in. **(Warning: Do not attempt to eat a corndog covered in chocolate. YOU COULD DIE!… Okay maybe you won't die. But you might throw-up!)**

"So, that's how they make corndogs… _American,_" Scott told her as they walked up to a food vender.

The two lovers then looked at the menu and Ramona changed her mind as she ordered, "I'll take a strawberry crape."

"Ramona, You're ordering wrong. These aren't just crapes, these crapes are _American!_" Scott said as he ordered the same thing as Ramona though he put the word American in front of the word crape.

"I'm pretty sure they're French dude," Ramona said as they walked away from the vender.

After they ate their crapes the two then made there way to the "Big Top" to watch the big performance. The two walked in to a sensory overload as a bunch of reds and gold's littered the area as they searched for a place to sit on the stands they had set-up for the audience. They saw a bunch of animals, clowns, and acrobats getting set up for the big show. After a few minutes the tent went dark as a spot light shined at the center of the performance area. There a lone man stood he was dressed in a dark crimson jacket with black pants, the jacket had big golden buttons and a ton of golden zippers. Undoubtedly though, the two coolest part of his outfit was the giant crimson top hat on the top of his head and the golden cane in his right hand.

The man, most likely Mr. Wonderful, then began speaking to the audience, "Ladies and gentlemen, you're in for a special treat. For you have cordially been invited to the once in a lifetime show called, THE DEATH OF SCOTT PILGRIM!"

"YEAH! Wait… what?"

* * *

**A/N: Well, well, well, it looks like the next chapter is in the books! I would really like to thank you guys. I mean I have 30 reviews, IN TWO CHAPTERS! That's absolutely crazy! I would also like to ask you how you enjoyed this chapter, and what do you think the dream sequence means. I mean symbolism all up in that, Yo! Also, I put in 7 references in here… can you guess them all?**

**Finally I would like to thank Voice4TheMute, Redquicksilver, and Tom Maddi! They are super awesome people and really get my butt in gear to work on this. Also, read Voice4TheMute's story "Through My Eyes" it is really, really, really good. And hey, you can read it while you wait for this story to update. I have no idea when the next chapter is coming out. So… keep you're eyes peeled I guess. **

**Thank you all so very much for reading this story!**

**-TrixieStixs **


	4. The Circus

**Scott Pilgrim's Family Values **

**By: TrixieStixs **

**Chapter Three: Lions, Bears, Tigers, The Whole Freaking Circus… Oh My!**

* * *

**"And as a matter of fact, it blows my mind**  
**You would even talk to me**  
**Because a girl like you is like a dream come true**  
**A real life fantasy**"

**Bobby Brown- "Every Little Step"**

* * *

"Ramona, what's going on?" Scott asked as he looked over with a dumbfounded expression to his girlfriend.

"I'm just as confused as you are Scott," was her only reply as she slide away from him. Others followed suit as they heard that his name was Scott, in fact no one was in a five foot radius of him at this point.

"It's time to say goodbye to the person you love Ramona, even if you are dad's favorite. There is nothing he can do to help you now!" Mr. Wonderful yelled into the microphone he was holding before laughing evilly. He then continued by say, "What do you get when you shoot a fat guy out of a cannon?" A extremely heavyset man was then seen getting loaded into a canon as Mr. Wonderful finished his most likely lame joke, "Pancakes!"

The fat man that was loaded into the canon just seconds ago then shot out like a canon **(Lame pun intended NOOBZ! Also… I hate it when people use that word just a little FYI to yeah. Oh, and I also hate when people use FYI too.) **towards Scott who had no time to react. Scott then took a direct hit from the lard-ass leaving nothing but a gaping hole and smoke in the stands where Scott was sitting behind. Mr. Wonderful then surprisingly said to the audience, "Well, sorry for the anticlimactic show guys. Also, unfortunately there are no refunds!"

"I don't know how they do stuff in America," Scott's voice could be heard from the smoke that was still in the stands.

"But here in Canada," Neil's voice this time.

"It takes more then some lame joke," Stacy's.

"To defeat (**Hic**.)," Wallace's.

"Scott Pilgrim," Kim Pine bellowed as the smoke started to clear.

"And my daughter," Ramona's dad said with a grin as the smoke finished clearing, the group now visible. Scott was seen with his hand in a blocking position as everyone else was behind him acting as a cushion to the blow. The fat guy from the canon was seen hanging off of some of the seats, his body limp from his unconsciousness.

Scott then turned back to thank his group of loyal secondary characters… I mean friends, "Thanks guys! But what are all of you guys doing here?"

**(Explanation… In one sentence! It won't make sense, most likely)**

**(I would skip this part if I we're you. Especially if your one of those "Grammar Nazis"!)**

**(Last chance… If you don't like it I don't want you to *Goes Into Todd's Voice* talk to me about grammar!)**

Wallace was up late last night when a drunken idea hit him, I really want to go the circus extremely drunk so then he did, and now his blood alcohol level is at .97 at this moment as he stands behind Scott, don't argue logistics with me I know what I'm talking about, at about the time Wallace had this idea Neil was desperately thinking of a way to get in Stacy's pants… I mean have sex… I mean go on a date with Stacy, so doing what any logical man would do… HE PREFORMED INCEPCTION, Kim was supposedly on a date with some guy I've never heard or seen or thought up of before in my life, and Ramona's dad was there to tell Scott about Mr. Wonderful!

**(End Explanation)**

"It's kind of a long story, you seem to have a bigger problem right now." Stacy informed her older brother as she pointed towards the circus ringleader standing head cocked to his right side, A look of surprise plastered on his face.

He then snapped out of his shock as he began talking into the microphone again, "Well folks, it looks like your in for a show after all. Oh and Scott, you're not the only one with lackeys." A evil smile appeared on Mr. Wonderful's face as he said the last statement.

**Cue overdone "VS." text… Scott Pilgrim VS. The Circus**

"They're not lackeys, there secondary characters. At least get it right! Jeez," Scott said to the crazed ringleader.

"I'll make your face right, after my carnies bash it in!" Mr. Wonderful spat back as a bunch of circus people stood besides him.

Kim Pine just rolled her eyes before giving her two-cents on the matter, "Does every person Scott fight have to be as dull as he is? I mean that last sentence was just painful to listen to. I should have known better then to go on a date with someone who wanted to go to the circus. I mean who the hell wants to go to the circus for a date?"

"Kim Pine," Scott butted in.

Ramona continued the thought, "On a date?"

"Unheard of!" Neil finally finished off the consented opinion on the topic.

Kim didn't look vary pleased at the comments being thrown towered her, you could even say she was down right pissed about it. So it really didn't come as a surprise when she responded by saying, "I hate you all… every, single, one of you!" She then looked over at Ramona and told her, "I expected more out of you Ramona, I guess idiot really is contagious." She death glared Scott as she said the latter half of that sentence.

"Well, come on Kim! When was the last time you were on a date? The Cold War? The first depression? When people still called each other?" Ramona said as she defended the group's statement.

Kim just frowned as she said, "Can you think of another reason why I'm wearing this outfit?"

**Kim Pine's Outfit:**

**Top: A tight red V-neck shirt with a picture of crossing drumsticks on it. Also, extra emphasis on the V-neck part. A lot of Cleavage PEOPLE! (Status: Boobs!)**

**Skirt: A short black skirt that comes just above her knees. The skirt seemed to have come equipped with the ability to flow when the wind hits it, even when there is in fact… no wind! (Status: Dat Ass!) **

**Shoes: Black hooker boots? With a red, half inch, stripe going down both sides of them. (Status: Hard to walk in!) **

**(Fun Fact: You want to do her… even if you're a girl.)**

"You have become a lady of the night?" Ramona answered a with a smile.

Kim's teeth began to grind as she told Ramona, "If you weren't pregnant, I would kill you."

"Well, I'm glad that even your rage has a limit." Ramona said as she patted her good friend on the back.

Kim some how got even angrier as her face turned red but still managed to sound calm when telling Ramona, "Don't push your luck."

"Sorry to interrupt the comedic relief of the chapter, but we kind of have a fight to get on with. I mean the vs. text already popped up, now people are just staring… and it's just getting awkward for everyone." Mr. Wonderful said into the microphone, eager to get on with the battle.

Scott then turned to the group with a smile and informed them, "Alright, you guys stay here and look after Ramona. I can handle this by myself, I mean come on, they're a bunch of carnies, how hard could they be?"

"Scott, (**Hic.**) what do I (**Hic.**) always say?" Wallace asked the expecting father.

"When you're drunk always have a spotter in the bathroom?"

"Always, always take the red pill?"

"Don't feed your pets after midnight?"

"Never go on a roller-coaster called 'The Devil's Flight'?"

"Don't date guys with glasses if you are tired of this happening?"

Wallace just shook his head at all of the responses that were blurted out. He then, surprisingly sober like, said, "Never underestimate your opponent!"

"Come on I-" but before Scott could finish his most likely idiotic statement, A masculine hand with hairy knuckles delivered a stern right hook to his jaw. Scott waddled back a couple of steps as he rubbed his jaw with his left hand before looking at who delivered the punch. Scott then stared at the imposing figure in front of him, the man had a beard, bulging muscles, and was dressed in red and black. After getting his bearings back Scott then said to man, "I almost forgot they have those crazy weightlifting guys that eat weights and juggle elephants and stuff. Well, bring it on dude!"

"What are you talking about? I'm The Bearded Lady…" the bearded lady said in a feminine voice before continuing. "That's the Muscle Man over there," pointing at the middle of the tent as she said the last statement.

The gang then looked down to see a monstrous being throwing what seemed to be slabs of concrete around for no apparent reason. They didn't know what was scarier; his right arm that was bigger then most grown men, the fact that he was a bald hunchback, or the fact that there was no concrete in the area.

"That thing looks more like a tank then a human!" Stacy yelled as she pointed at the monster, who seemed to be guarding Mr. Wonderful.

"I'll worry about that when I get there," Scott answered her non-question, being a procrastinator as usual.

"Ha, you'll never make it that far! You probably can't even get passed me!" The Bearded Lady mocked the hero of the story. "You're not going to hit a girl are you?" The woman continued as she evilly laughed.

"We've already covered this…" Scot said as he started spinning backwards with his right arm out, fist clinched, before continuing, "IN VOLUME FOUR!" Scott's fist made contact with The Bearded Lady's face as she turned into change. Scott then popped his knuckles as a combo meter appeared above his head.

**1 Kill Combo!**

Scott then made his way to center-stage a look of determination on his face. He wanted to hurry and get this fight over with. After all, he had six more siblings to defeat if he wanted all of Ramona's baggage to truly be put in the past. He seemed to have a clear shot at center-stage when a myriad of lanky and fit acrobats appeared in his path. Thinking fast, actually not thinking at all, he began swinging wildly at his new opponents. The acrobats dodged all of Scott's punches like Scott was stuck in those lame and totally overused "bullet-time" scenes in the movies.

Scott then began spazzing out as he continued to swing with reckless abandon, in vain I might add, at the speedy acrobats. Luckily for Scott he had Wallace there, he's the world's greatest fight stagiest when he's drunk. **(Fun Fact: Wallace is always drunk!)**

"Scott! Punch them in the balls!" Wallace yelled to his apprentice who was not able to hit the bright side of a barn at the moment.

"What about the girls?" Scott asked not sure about the advice his trainer was giving him.

"Especially the girls," Wallace simply replied with a matter-of-fact tone.

Scott just nodded as he began swinging at the "private" part's of the acrobats making contact with vicious uppercuts and knees. Change flew everywhere as the combo meter shot up like a rocket.

**46 Kill Combo!**

Scott then looked up to Wallace with a quizzical expression. Wallace simply answered with his right hand's index finger pointing up, "No matter how fast you are, you can never dodge a cheap-shot to the balls!"

Scott just shrugged as he looked back down to center-stage but was greeted by the sight of a dozen dwarves. Scott, taken by surprise, then shouted, "Gah! Midgets!" **(Disclaimer: The author TrixieStixs does in no way endorse, support, or acknowledge the views, opinions, or words uttered by the characters in this fan fiction. Calling a dwarf A midget is not only stupid it is politically incorrect… you goddamn Retards!) **

"We prefer to be called little people… you DICK!" One of the dwarves from _The Lord of The Rings, _I mean from the circus scolded Scott.

"Scott, don't let them swarm you. You just have to punt these Midgets like a football." Wallace informed Scott, though he looked like he didn't understand him. Maybe because it's Canada and people don't watch American football. So Wallace helped him out a little bit by dumbing it down to, "Kick them in the face!"

Scott then proceeded to kick midgets in the face like some man with a vendetta against the poor little guys. Scott then continued on his warpath as he left change, blood, and clowns in his wake. In the process he was racking up a ridiculous combo.

**125 Kill Combo!**

But then, the inevitable happened…

**C-C-C-C-C-C-COMBO Breaker!**

A bear claw, seemingly out of nowhere, smacked Scott right in the face! Scott braced himself with his right hand so he wouldn't fall completely to the ground. When he stood back-up he was then staring into the eyes of a blood thirsty bear.**(Alright, he wasn't blood thirsty. He had one of those cute little hats that those monkeys who play the symbols wear…it was adorable! But he still wanted to kill Scott, hell half his friends want to kill him. Can you really blame the bear?)**

Scott then looked up to Wallace with a petrified look on his face, which turned white when Wallace yelled, "I've got nothing man!"

So then Scott ran and ran away from the bear, up trees, over fences, and yes even on water and on top of air. He was like a real life David Blaine or something, the amusing show was finally put to an end when Wallace thought of a plan. Wallace then yelled to Scott, "Sooth the mighty beast Scott!"

Scott then began to think of what bears like his first thought was a picture of a bear snatching a salmon out of the air. So naturally, being Scott Pilgrim, he grabbed a box of Gold Fish crackers and held it out like a peace offering out to the bear.

"Oh my god! Scott is going to die! My brother is seriously going to die this time! I mean he doesn't have an extra life this time." Stacy mumbled to herself as she stared down at Scott.

"And if that bear doesn't kill him, I will!" Kim said, as her way to show she was worried about him?

The group then looked down in utter shock as Scott was seen rubbing the bear's stomach.

Text then appeared…

**Bear With Hat Joins Your Party!**

Scott then sat on the bear's back, making the ultimate killing machine known to man… A man riding a bear! Scott then took his new furry friend to face his final opponent before Mr. Wonderful, the man known as Tank!

To give an idea of how powerful a man riding a bear can be, I've compiled a list of things that it has actually destroyed.

**1. An Attack Helicopter**

**2. Optimus Prime **

**3. The Entire State of New Jersey!**

So Scott and his new ally, Beary Burton, marched their way over to where the "Tank" from _Left 4 Dead _and Mr. Wonderful were waiting. Scott and Beary stared at the Tank, the Tank stared at Scott and Beary. And so began the most epic fight in the history of man kind! **(We are talking about **_**Enter The Dragon **_**levels of awesome here people!) **People were "oohing" and "aweing", grown men were shedding tears of joy at the sight, Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris's career were looking down from the fighting havens nodding in approval. The fight itself was too magnificent to be described in words it was something that's greatness can only be experienced through your own eyes. The fight did end in a draw however, and when all hope of reaching Mr. Wonderful seemed lost Wallace voice of wisdom called out, "Sooth the mighty beast Scott!"

**One Box of Gold Fish crackers and a belly rub later…**

"Your finished Mr. Wonderful, I've defeated your lackeys your defenseless. All of your Lackeys are belong to me!" Scott yelled out to excite the internet meme fan-boys.

Mr. Wonderful then laughed evilly before beginning a cliché monologue, "You think this is over? This is just the beginning!…" **(Blah, Blah, Blah! Is there anything more entertaining going on?)**

**

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Scott and Ramona's house…**

Just when you thought that Scott the Cat couldn't get anymore adorable, he appeared to be in some type of teal colored robe sitting up on a chair next to a keyboard. Scott the Cat then began to paw at the keys. As soon as one of his cute little black paws hit a key he began to have a glowing golden aura around him. Scott the Cat had leveled up to Scott "The Keyboard" Cat! He celebrated the occasion by playing Charlie Schmidt's original piece that started it all. **(Now that, is awesome!)**

**

* * *

Back at the circus…**

"Besides, we haven't even talked about my back-story yet!" Mr. Wonderful finished his long rant that nobody cared about.

Everyone pans over to Ramona's dad who begins the flash back with, "It was the Summer of 75 and the circus was in town…"

* * *

**A/N Sorry, Sorry, SORRY! I have a reason it took so long to make this chapter… I just have to think of it. Well to be honest, The long wait is pretty good for you fans of this story. Because all this time I was away, I was working on a you tube series and a website! That's pretty cool… right? Everything should be up and running in a couple of chapters. Which leads me to the best part… this story will be updated every two weeks! (Sooner if people really want it by flooding my inbox with messages) **

**Yeah, so in two weeks (or less) the next chapter will be here! I might even throw in a new Scott Pilgrim story while I'm at it! Also, quick question would any of you sick pervs want me to write an M rated Scott Pilgrim One-shot series? Just an idea I've been toying with in my head. **

**See you guys in two weeks, TrixieStixs!**


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